Festivus Is Here, and Movie Theater Etiquette Is Our Main Grievance

Frank Costanza Festivus energy is exactly what today’s theaters need.

Festivus has arrived, and it’s the perfect holiday for anyone who needs a good rant. It’s also a fitting day for movie lovers. The theater should be a place where you lock in, escape for two hours or even three hours, and share a story with strangers who are all there for the same reason. Lately, that vibe has been fading fast.

If you know Festivus, you probably know it from Seinfeld and the episode “The Strike,” where Frank Costanza turns Dec. 23 into a full-on celebration of irritation. There’s an aluminum pole, a dinner, the “airing of grievances,” and the “feats of strength.” It’s ridiculous in the best way, and it became one of the show’s most lasting jokes.

A huge part of why it works is Jerry Stiller. He didn’t just play Frank. He made Frank feel like a real guy you’ve met at a party who corners you and unloads every complaint he’s stored up since 1978. Stiller’s timing, volume, and sheer commitment made Seinfeld funnier, and Frank Costanza became an all-time TV character. When Stiller died in 2020, it felt like losing a special kind of comedy energy that doesn’t come around often.

That sense of relief is what makes Festivus land so well. It’s a moment to laugh about the small annoyances and spotlight the behaviors that, frankly, need to be called out. So, in the spirit of Festivus, let’s shift to the main grievance on my list this year.

The Airing of Grievances: Cinema Etiquette Has Gone Downhill

Movie etiquette has taken a nosedive. It’s not one thing, either. It’s a full menu of distractions that pulls attention away from the screen and dumps it on everyone sitting nearby.

First, the talking. Not the occasional whisper to clarify a plot point. The full-volume conversations. The running commentary. The loud “jokes” timed for attention. The people who talk to the screen, like the characters, can hear them, as if the theater were their personal stage. It doesn’t make you clever. It makes you the reason someone else can’t enjoy the movie they paid for.

Next, phones.

Being on your phone during a movie is already bad, but some folks take it to an art form: brightness cranked and non-stop typing or notification sounds. Then there’s snapping photos or recording video. That’s not “capturing a memory.” That’s piracy, and it’s a slap in the face to everyone who worked on the film, plus everyone in the room trying to watch it.

Then there’s the food situation. Theater snacks are one thing. Sneaking in a full-on smelly meal from home is another. If your food announces itself before the trailers end, it probably doesn’t belong in a shared space.

The physical stuff is just as irritating. Seat-kicking stands out, especially with no apology, along with yanking or drumming on the seat or armrest.

And yes, we have to talk about parenting choices at the movies. Bringing babies into a packed screening isn’t fair to the audience, and it’s usually not fun for the baby either. Taking kids to an R-rated movie is another headache. It puts everyone in an awkward spot, and it often leads to constant shuffling, questions, and distractions when the movie is clearly not built for that age group.

Finally, the move that will never make sense: sitting right next to someone in an empty theater. If there are 200 open seats, why are you choosing the one that turns a peaceful night into a shoulder-to-shoulder experience? Give people space. It’s not complicated.

A Few More Grievances, Because Festivus Demands It

Showing up late and then making a whole production of finding your seat can wreck the opening minutes, which are often the most important for setting tone and stakes. Constant trips in and out of the aisle also add up. One emergency run is normal. Multiple laps become a distraction for the entire row.

And please, stop treating the theater like your personal review booth. If you love a movie, great. If you hate it, also fine. Either way, save it for the lobby.

The Festivus Fix: Be the Moviegoer You Wish You Sat Next To

It’s simple. Silence your phone and keep it away. If you have to text, step out. Don’t record anything. Don’t talk through the film. Don’t kick seats. Clean up after yourself. If you mess up, just say sorry.

Festivus works because it’s funny, but it’s also honest. Frank Costanza’s whole deal was calling out bad behavior without pretending it’s normal. Movie theaters deserve that same energy.

So, happy Festivus. Let’s all commit to better moviegoing: respect others, follow etiquette, and help make theaters the enjoyable, shared spaces they’re meant to be. Your actions matter, so set the standard every time you see a film.

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